This is a real crisis!
Unethical conversions are taking place at the highest level. Lalith Kottelawela is working from jail to make sure that Christians have infiltrated Temple Trees.
The proof was in the news report in the Daily Mirror and BBC (so it must be true) that:
The authorities in Sri Lanka have arrested a popular astrologer who predicted that the president will be ejected from office, police say.
...
Police told the AP news agency that Mr Bandara told an opposition meeting that the prime minister would take over as president on 9 September and the opposition leader would become prime minister.
...
He was arrested on Wednesday night to investigate the basis of his prediction, police spokesman Ranjith Gunasekera said.
Obviously, they are having secret bible reading and prayer meetings at Temple Trees. The Bible says the penalty for false prophecy, according to the biblical context, is capital punishment (Deuteronomy 13 verse5).
"That prophet or dreamer must be put to death, because he preached rebellion against the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt and redeemed you from the land of slavery; he has tried to turn you from the way the LORD your God commanded you to follow. You must purge the evil from among you."
Can somebody please do something about this travesty? Why do they have to come and ruin it for us... Christians can go and do anything they want in USA, UK, Australia and Norway. Ah, ah! Appu is sure these unethical conversions must be Norwegian funded.... and Ranil Wickramasinghe's Uncle was also a Christian Bishop and this Astrologer is connected to the UNP. Bingo! Now it all comes together.
Can somebody please give me Omalpe's mobile number? I need to alert him.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Chamara Silva to be transferred to Manik Farm
The President has announced that Chamara Silva and Isuru Udana are to be transferred to the Manik Farm IDP Rehabilitation Centre for processing.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Barefoot sarong owners should stop barking at the moon
The Lankan blogosphere is rife with the stereotypical barefoot sarong owning 'middle class sri lankans' sounding more and more like card carrying members of Wimal Weerawansa's Patriotic National Movement.
"The West is attacking Sri Lanka, instead of helping" they say, USA and UK are "sympathizing with terrorists" apparently or "Interfering with our war on terrorism" and showing "double standards"... and on and on they go.
Enough with the frothy growls people. Calm down, take a deep breath and think about what you're defending. Let Gota borrow a page from the Mugabe handbook on media relations - he is cementing the Rajapakse hand on the nation. Thats a good reason for him - Whats your motive?
When the government proclaims that not a "single civillian was killed by shelling" that isn't dishonesty - its an attempt to equate Tamils and Tigers. This wasn't a war to liberate the Tamils from the LTTE, it was a war to liberate the Sinhalese from the LTTE. I agree that it was a war that had to be fought and the LTTE had to be destroyed but it had to be done with some concern for civilian casualties (instead, the government exhibited no concern and underscored their intentions by keeping the World's media out).
When the USA and UK invaded Iraq, the World's media was "embedded" and they were able to report on what happened, albeit a Western view. However, when the Iraqi national archives were looted by some US Troops the Western media didn't hide it - it was headline news and that helped stem the tide of looting and excesses. The world's media has played an invaluable role in checking abuses like Abu Gh'b and Gitmo. Those countries have processes that deal with such abuses and more often than not, the outcome is right and not wrong.
Contrast that with Sri Lanka's history of presidential commissions that have never ever held anybody accountable for any excess.
Besides, the war against the LTTE couldn't have been won if the UK, EU and the USA didn't outlaw the LTTE and shut down their lethal networks. Under the circumstances, they have a right to question the prosecution of Sri Lanka's war.
What Sri Lanka doesn't need at this time is for the "intelligentsia" to start barking at the moon, like the rest of the pack of rabid dogs that pose off as our leaders & elders.
We all know that LTTE/Prabhakaran was the symptom and not the problem. If you have that level of awareness, then ignorance is not your refuge for your "us against the World" attitude.
Lets get real people. If we want the World to help us rebuild, then we need to be more mature.
Sri Lanka is her biggest enemy and every time we bark at the moon, we're sapping ourselves of the energy and will to look at our own reflection in the water.
Sri Lanka can be better than that! We can be better than that!
"The West is attacking Sri Lanka, instead of helping" they say, USA and UK are "sympathizing with terrorists" apparently or "Interfering with our war on terrorism" and showing "double standards"... and on and on they go.
Enough with the frothy growls people. Calm down, take a deep breath and think about what you're defending. Let Gota borrow a page from the Mugabe handbook on media relations - he is cementing the Rajapakse hand on the nation. Thats a good reason for him - Whats your motive?
When the government proclaims that not a "single civillian was killed by shelling" that isn't dishonesty - its an attempt to equate Tamils and Tigers. This wasn't a war to liberate the Tamils from the LTTE, it was a war to liberate the Sinhalese from the LTTE. I agree that it was a war that had to be fought and the LTTE had to be destroyed but it had to be done with some concern for civilian casualties (instead, the government exhibited no concern and underscored their intentions by keeping the World's media out).
When the USA and UK invaded Iraq, the World's media was "embedded" and they were able to report on what happened, albeit a Western view. However, when the Iraqi national archives were looted by some US Troops the Western media didn't hide it - it was headline news and that helped stem the tide of looting and excesses. The world's media has played an invaluable role in checking abuses like Abu Gh'b and Gitmo. Those countries have processes that deal with such abuses and more often than not, the outcome is right and not wrong.
Contrast that with Sri Lanka's history of presidential commissions that have never ever held anybody accountable for any excess.
Besides, the war against the LTTE couldn't have been won if the UK, EU and the USA didn't outlaw the LTTE and shut down their lethal networks. Under the circumstances, they have a right to question the prosecution of Sri Lanka's war.
What Sri Lanka doesn't need at this time is for the "intelligentsia" to start barking at the moon, like the rest of the pack of rabid dogs that pose off as our leaders & elders.
We all know that LTTE/Prabhakaran was the symptom and not the problem. If you have that level of awareness, then ignorance is not your refuge for your "us against the World" attitude.
Lets get real people. If we want the World to help us rebuild, then we need to be more mature.
Sri Lanka is her biggest enemy and every time we bark at the moon, we're sapping ourselves of the energy and will to look at our own reflection in the water.
Sri Lanka can be better than that! We can be better than that!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Terrorism is dead. Paradise regained.
Apparently Keith Noyhar called Poddala Jayantha to convey the good news....
Monday, June 1, 2009
A tale of two Kabarayagoyas by the Diyawanna Oya
Two Kabaragoyas were basking on the side of Diyawanna Oya
The smaller Kabaraya turned to the bigger Kabaraya and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it.
"Well", said the big Kabaraya, "what have you been eating?"
"Politicians, same as you," replied the small Kabaraya.
"Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?"
"Down the other side of the lake near the parking lot by the Parliament.
"Same here. Hmm.. How do you catch them?
"Well, I crawl up under one of their Pajeros and wait for one to unlock the car door.
Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat em!
"Ah!" says the big Kabaraya,
"I think I see your problem.
You're not getting any real nourishment.
See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an arsehole wrapped in white polyester."
The smaller Kabaraya turned to the bigger Kabaraya and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it.
"Well", said the big Kabaraya, "what have you been eating?"
"Politicians, same as you," replied the small Kabaraya.
"Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?"
"Down the other side of the lake near the parking lot by the Parliament.
"Same here. Hmm.. How do you catch them?
"Well, I crawl up under one of their Pajeros and wait for one to unlock the car door.
Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat em!
"Ah!" says the big Kabaraya,
"I think I see your problem.
You're not getting any real nourishment.
See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an arsehole wrapped in white polyester."
Friday, May 22, 2009
Appu's advice to the Tamils
Appu's advice to the Tamils is to try something different.
You tried the Gandhian approach and got clubbed by the police from Galle Face to Jaffna esplanade.
You tried the Prabhakaran approach and met violence with violence and whilst it might have seemed a bit like David and Goliath for awhile, Goliath won. Surprised? Don't be. It was inevitable. Prabhakaran just didn't "know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em."
In the end, what Rajapakse Inc. has done to the Tamils made JR's riots from '58 to '83 seem like walks in the park. Sad, but true. Worse, this time nobody really cares. Next week, the news will be about civillians being killed in Afghanistan.
However, there is a way forward to real peace and prosperity. One that comes easily to the stereotypical Tamil.
the economy!
the economy!
the economy!
If Mao's China can become the World's healthiest economy and Ho Chi Min's Vietnam can be a true leaping Tiger, then can your lot be far behind?
Invest in your people, your lands, your future. You work wonders for your employers in other parts of the World, now do it for yourselves.
To do that however, you need to walk away from the bitterness that you are entitled to feel.
Entitlement is debilitating - ask the Sinhalese University student who drinks from that poisoned chalice...
...but thats a different rant that Appu will get to one day soon.
You tried the Gandhian approach and got clubbed by the police from Galle Face to Jaffna esplanade.
You tried the Prabhakaran approach and met violence with violence and whilst it might have seemed a bit like David and Goliath for awhile, Goliath won. Surprised? Don't be. It was inevitable. Prabhakaran just didn't "know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em."
In the end, what Rajapakse Inc. has done to the Tamils made JR's riots from '58 to '83 seem like walks in the park. Sad, but true. Worse, this time nobody really cares. Next week, the news will be about civillians being killed in Afghanistan.
However, there is a way forward to real peace and prosperity. One that comes easily to the stereotypical Tamil.
the economy!
the economy!
the economy!
If Mao's China can become the World's healthiest economy and Ho Chi Min's Vietnam can be a true leaping Tiger, then can your lot be far behind?
Invest in your people, your lands, your future. You work wonders for your employers in other parts of the World, now do it for yourselves.
To do that however, you need to walk away from the bitterness that you are entitled to feel.
Entitlement is debilitating - ask the Sinhalese University student who drinks from that poisoned chalice...
...but thats a different rant that Appu will get to one day soon.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
An open letter from Appu: Please pardon me....
An open letter to my fellow Sri Lankans:
I understand why you would want to celebrate Prabhakaran’s death but please pardon me, if I don’t join in…
Prabhakaran’s death, or that of some fat lookalike, doesn't hide the fact that Prabhakaran’s cowboy adventures have attracted unprecedented violence, hatred and misery for the Tamils – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
More civilians have died in the last four months than in 30 years of civil war – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
Prabhakaran’s death is not going to do anything for the thousands of young Tamil and Sinhala boys and girls who died a pointless choreographed death – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
Prabhakaran murdered all moderate Tamil leaders and left the Tamils in the custody of his old terrorist buddies ; Douglas, Karuna and Pillayan – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
There are over three hundred thousand innocent civilians trapped in barbed wired squalor with no hope of living normal lives – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
White van abductions, church attacks, murders, rapes, extortions and assaults are commonplace in Sri Lanka and it no longer resembles the paradise I was born in – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
I have been disgusted by the shouts, the taunts, the insults and vitriol heaped upon the Tamils in the hours and days following the LTTE’s defeat – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
I have been saddened by the flood of chauvinist emails, sms messages and blogs that have flowed in the hours and days following the LTTE’s defeat – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
I’ve always thought that Prabhakaran was the ugly wound and not the cancer that plagued Sri Lanka and I am not convinced that his exit will cure the cancer that continues to fester within us – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
... & so if you don't mind, I'll sit this one out and save my pissu-double-naetuma for when somebody's 'Heladiva' becomes 'my Sri Lanka' again!
Your Sri Lankan friend,
Gini Appu
I understand why you would want to celebrate Prabhakaran’s death but please pardon me, if I don’t join in…
Prabhakaran’s death, or that of some fat lookalike, doesn't hide the fact that Prabhakaran’s cowboy adventures have attracted unprecedented violence, hatred and misery for the Tamils – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
More civilians have died in the last four months than in 30 years of civil war – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
Prabhakaran’s death is not going to do anything for the thousands of young Tamil and Sinhala boys and girls who died a pointless choreographed death – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
Prabhakaran murdered all moderate Tamil leaders and left the Tamils in the custody of his old terrorist buddies ; Douglas, Karuna and Pillayan – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
There are over three hundred thousand innocent civilians trapped in barbed wired squalor with no hope of living normal lives – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
White van abductions, church attacks, murders, rapes, extortions and assaults are commonplace in Sri Lanka and it no longer resembles the paradise I was born in – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
I have been disgusted by the shouts, the taunts, the insults and vitriol heaped upon the Tamils in the hours and days following the LTTE’s defeat – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
I have been saddened by the flood of chauvinist emails, sms messages and blogs that have flowed in the hours and days following the LTTE’s defeat – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
I’ve always thought that Prabhakaran was the ugly wound and not the cancer that plagued Sri Lanka and I am not convinced that his exit will cure the cancer that continues to fester within us – so please pardon me if I don’t celebrate.
... & so if you don't mind, I'll sit this one out and save my pissu-double-naetuma for when somebody's 'Heladiva' becomes 'my Sri Lanka' again!
Your Sri Lankan friend,
Gini Appu
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Prabhakaran captured alive!
Colombo -- The Mihin News Network announced that Prabhakaran has been captured alive! President Rajapakse is scheduled to hold a press conference to formally announce to the nation that the war on terror has been won and that Prabhakaran has been captured alive. A glorious future awaits...
Fact or fiction, the news of Prabhakaran's death, escape or capture is of little consequence at this point... the Tamils of Sri Lanka (diaspora included) would do well to reflect on the fact that the Tamils in Sri Lanka are suffering more (violence) now, than anytime in history.
They are also more vulnerable and subject to more discrimination, hate and contempt than they ever have been.
Furthermore, a political solution is now more remote than it ever has been
So it doesn't matter if Rajapaksa will parade Prabhakaran in chains or in a coffin. It doesn't matter what he says - the winner takes it all !!
Despite what the Rajapaksa propaganda machine says, the loser is not Prabhakaran. The losers are in those barbed wire camps.
Fact or fiction, the news of Prabhakaran's death, escape or capture is of little consequence at this point... the Tamils of Sri Lanka (diaspora included) would do well to reflect on the fact that the Tamils in Sri Lanka are suffering more (violence) now, than anytime in history.
They are also more vulnerable and subject to more discrimination, hate and contempt than they ever have been.
Furthermore, a political solution is now more remote than it ever has been
So it doesn't matter if Rajapaksa will parade Prabhakaran in chains or in a coffin. It doesn't matter what he says - the winner takes it all !!
Despite what the Rajapaksa propaganda machine says, the loser is not Prabhakaran. The losers are in those barbed wire camps.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Appu also confused by this 'Safe Zone' business
As DBS pointed out in his recent post @ Transcurrents the so called Safe Zone has been anything but that...
Hasn’t that been true of the whole of the north and east? Wasn’t that the whole point of the LTTE? To free the Tamil people from the unhappy union with the rest of Sri Lanka and to create a “safe zone?” Isn’t that what ‘eelam’ was supposed to be?
The same LTTE that claimed it was the sole representative of the Tamil people for the last two and a half decades, must take exclusive responsibility for the plight of the same Tamil people it sought to represent exclusively.
Nobody can dispute that the Tamil people in Sri Lanka are worse off today than when the LTTE first took arms.
Not only do they not have access to education, land and equal opportunity - they are also subject to unprecedented brutality and misery by government forces and their appendages (paramilitaries). More children are dying a violent death today then they did prior to 1983. More women are raped, more men gone missing, more lands confiscated or rendered useless by land mines, more schools destroyed and more jobs lost, than before.
Tamils are made to feel like pariahs in all parts of this country - the land of their birth. Forget the nonsense that Tamils and Sinhalese live harmoniously outside of the North and East. That is only true of the whiskey drinking Tamils and Sinhalese who never have to step into a police station to register themselves or visit a grama sevaka’s office to get some citizen services.
The Government of Sri Lanka has repeatedly (from JRJ to DBW to Sarath Fonseka) reminded us that Sri Lanka is a land that does not belong to the Tamils. The Tamils have been told to behave like guests or face the consequences. The government has consistently backed up the words of those leaders with action. The LTTE, has not.
When the going got tough - the tough got going...
... and even as cluster bombs and MBRLs decapitate and cripple innocent civilians on that beach in Mullaithivu district, flag waving LTTE supporters demonstrate bravely in the 'safe streets' of North America, Europe and Australia.
Appu wonders if any of the young men waving LTTE flags, on the streets of Toronto, Canberra and London, would like to swap 'safe zones' with the young man in this video?
Hasn’t that been true of the whole of the north and east? Wasn’t that the whole point of the LTTE? To free the Tamil people from the unhappy union with the rest of Sri Lanka and to create a “safe zone?” Isn’t that what ‘eelam’ was supposed to be?
The same LTTE that claimed it was the sole representative of the Tamil people for the last two and a half decades, must take exclusive responsibility for the plight of the same Tamil people it sought to represent exclusively.
Nobody can dispute that the Tamil people in Sri Lanka are worse off today than when the LTTE first took arms.
Not only do they not have access to education, land and equal opportunity - they are also subject to unprecedented brutality and misery by government forces and their appendages (paramilitaries). More children are dying a violent death today then they did prior to 1983. More women are raped, more men gone missing, more lands confiscated or rendered useless by land mines, more schools destroyed and more jobs lost, than before.
Tamils are made to feel like pariahs in all parts of this country - the land of their birth. Forget the nonsense that Tamils and Sinhalese live harmoniously outside of the North and East. That is only true of the whiskey drinking Tamils and Sinhalese who never have to step into a police station to register themselves or visit a grama sevaka’s office to get some citizen services.
The Government of Sri Lanka has repeatedly (from JRJ to DBW to Sarath Fonseka) reminded us that Sri Lanka is a land that does not belong to the Tamils. The Tamils have been told to behave like guests or face the consequences. The government has consistently backed up the words of those leaders with action. The LTTE, has not.
When the going got tough - the tough got going...
... and even as cluster bombs and MBRLs decapitate and cripple innocent civilians on that beach in Mullaithivu district, flag waving LTTE supporters demonstrate bravely in the 'safe streets' of North America, Europe and Australia.
Appu wonders if any of the young men waving LTTE flags, on the streets of Toronto, Canberra and London, would like to swap 'safe zones' with the young man in this video?
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Keheliya Rambukwella –"Aliens killed Lasantha"
Keheliya Rambukwella – "Aliens killed Lasantha"
Fri Jan 09, 2009 12:53pm BST
By Yufuld Mee Wans
COLOMBO, January 09 (Routers)
Sri Lanka government media spokesman Minister Dr Keheliya Rambukwella, made the shocking disclosure yesterday, of alien involvement in the assassination of Lasantha Wickremetunge.
"Aiyo, Lasantha was my dear and sincere friend and even though he called me all kinds of names like turncoat and liar, I always told him, the people would be the final judge, but I never expected the people to be from outer space!" he said.
"Lasantha is a true son of a bi—sorry, sorry... I meant 'the soil'"
" Please don't think I am mad, I have checked up and down with all our Government hit-squads and white van operators and none of them have owned up!, so see, see, it couldn't have been us no?". "Can't be Mervyn also, because at precisely that time, he was in his Porsche going looking for some other trouble maker, who was highlighting his involvement in the kudu business".
"It is quite clear now that it would have been impossible for 4 motorcycles with heavily armed, black garbed, black helmeted riders to have broken through the security cordon of the city in broad daylight" he said.
"Even more surprising, how did they get away? ","Tell me... how? how?" he asked the media present. "You know, four motorcyclists with guns would definitely have been spotted no!". " But now see, we have reports from a housemaid coming back home from Dubai on Mihin Lanka that she observed a space craft beaming up some people from the Dehiwela area just as the plane was landing". "See what a good thing we re-started Mihin, otherwise we would never have known the truth".
"It must be true because see, I say, everyone knows that aliens have big heads, and the people who saw Lasantha being attacked would have thought their big heads were helmets". "Anyway, most of the people on the road that day were still drunk after celebrating the glorious Killinochchi victory, so how can you trust these people ah?"
I am only sorry that we did not take the attack on the MTV station seriously". "It has only just now been reported, that the damage to MTV was caused by this same alien space-craft landing on top of their control room". "My investigative officers, Thompson & Thompson have told me that the aliens thought that the MTV control room was Lasantha's house".
"Chee, if I had known this earlier, I could have warned Lasantha, but unfortunately my officers could not report to me as they were busy getting their free sim cards from those Indian Cellular fellows Bhathiya & Airtel". " Because of this we are also investigating the possibility of an Indian plot to distract us from carrying out security operations in the city by offering these free sims". "You know, we SriLankans will take anything free no! So how can you expect these checkpoint boys to look the other way when some nice Airtel girl gives them a free sim?".
"Yes, yes definite Indian involvement " piped in Wimal Weerawansa who then proceeded to elaborate that he was at Ramani's getting his hair slicked when he heard the news and left the salon without waiting for them to trim his goatee, as he was worried that the aliens might be after him as well. He ruled out the possibility of a JVP hand in the incident by saying 'None of our cadres were involved as at that particular time, they were busy on their mobiles, SMS'ing votes for Sirasa Superstar and anyway our boys wear red, not black'. "We normally give only Rs 18,000/- for funeral expenses but I received a call from Nivard who told me that due to inflation and because we know the fellow so well, better to give Lasantha Rs 20,000/-, so we gave ah!" he further elaborated.
In the meantime quite oblivious to the reported alien incident, Minister Maithripala Sirisena reported to the media that the attack on Lasantha was carried out by Golden Key depositors who had mistaken Lasantha for Lalith Kotelawala.
Media Minister Anura Priyadarshana Yapa further confused reporters during his separate media briefing on the Lasantha incident, when he pointed out that none of this would have happened if Lasantha did not get married and go on his honeymoon to a Hotel in Hikkaduwa. "You know, Lasantha and Sonali were dancing next to Karuna and his girlfriend on 31st night no!" "Everybody should know what happens when you dance with Tigers".
Karuna, when approached by the media, issued a vehement denial, saying "Please don't tell these things in front of my wife, I don't have a girlfriend and I never danced with Lasantha".
None of the Rajapakse brothers were available for comment, but Kollupitiya residents did report the sound of loud music and the lighting of fire crackers till the wee hours of the morning.
Contributing Editor: Ahimsa Maithree
Fri Jan 09, 2009 12:53pm BST
By Yufuld Mee Wans
COLOMBO, January 09 (Routers)
Sri Lanka government media spokesman Minister Dr Keheliya Rambukwella, made the shocking disclosure yesterday, of alien involvement in the assassination of Lasantha Wickremetunge.
"Aiyo, Lasantha was my dear and sincere friend and even though he called me all kinds of names like turncoat and liar, I always told him, the people would be the final judge, but I never expected the people to be from outer space!" he said.
"Lasantha is a true son of a bi—sorry, sorry... I meant 'the soil'"
" Please don't think I am mad, I have checked up and down with all our Government hit-squads and white van operators and none of them have owned up!, so see, see, it couldn't have been us no?". "Can't be Mervyn also, because at precisely that time, he was in his Porsche going looking for some other trouble maker, who was highlighting his involvement in the kudu business".
"It is quite clear now that it would have been impossible for 4 motorcycles with heavily armed, black garbed, black helmeted riders to have broken through the security cordon of the city in broad daylight" he said.
"Even more surprising, how did they get away? ","Tell me... how? how?" he asked the media present. "You know, four motorcyclists with guns would definitely have been spotted no!". " But now see, we have reports from a housemaid coming back home from Dubai on Mihin Lanka that she observed a space craft beaming up some people from the Dehiwela area just as the plane was landing". "See what a good thing we re-started Mihin, otherwise we would never have known the truth".
"It must be true because see, I say, everyone knows that aliens have big heads, and the people who saw Lasantha being attacked would have thought their big heads were helmets". "Anyway, most of the people on the road that day were still drunk after celebrating the glorious Killinochchi victory, so how can you trust these people ah?"
I am only sorry that we did not take the attack on the MTV station seriously". "It has only just now been reported, that the damage to MTV was caused by this same alien space-craft landing on top of their control room". "My investigative officers, Thompson & Thompson have told me that the aliens thought that the MTV control room was Lasantha's house".
"Chee, if I had known this earlier, I could have warned Lasantha, but unfortunately my officers could not report to me as they were busy getting their free sim cards from those Indian Cellular fellows Bhathiya & Airtel". " Because of this we are also investigating the possibility of an Indian plot to distract us from carrying out security operations in the city by offering these free sims". "You know, we SriLankans will take anything free no! So how can you expect these checkpoint boys to look the other way when some nice Airtel girl gives them a free sim?".
"Yes, yes definite Indian involvement " piped in Wimal Weerawansa who then proceeded to elaborate that he was at Ramani's getting his hair slicked when he heard the news and left the salon without waiting for them to trim his goatee, as he was worried that the aliens might be after him as well. He ruled out the possibility of a JVP hand in the incident by saying 'None of our cadres were involved as at that particular time, they were busy on their mobiles, SMS'ing votes for Sirasa Superstar and anyway our boys wear red, not black'. "We normally give only Rs 18,000/- for funeral expenses but I received a call from Nivard who told me that due to inflation and because we know the fellow so well, better to give Lasantha Rs 20,000/-, so we gave ah!" he further elaborated.
In the meantime quite oblivious to the reported alien incident, Minister Maithripala Sirisena reported to the media that the attack on Lasantha was carried out by Golden Key depositors who had mistaken Lasantha for Lalith Kotelawala.
Media Minister Anura Priyadarshana Yapa further confused reporters during his separate media briefing on the Lasantha incident, when he pointed out that none of this would have happened if Lasantha did not get married and go on his honeymoon to a Hotel in Hikkaduwa. "You know, Lasantha and Sonali were dancing next to Karuna and his girlfriend on 31st night no!" "Everybody should know what happens when you dance with Tigers".
Karuna, when approached by the media, issued a vehement denial, saying "Please don't tell these things in front of my wife, I don't have a girlfriend and I never danced with Lasantha".
None of the Rajapakse brothers were available for comment, but Kollupitiya residents did report the sound of loud music and the lighting of fire crackers till the wee hours of the morning.
Contributing Editor: Ahimsa Maithree
Appu is back from sabbatical with a friend
Appu took a sabbatical and is back, refreshed. Appu's tiny little head is bursting with ideas, comments and recipes from his kussiya. So much to share and so little time. Luckily, Appu has found a good friend called Ahimsa Maithree who will also join in the fun and now the blogosphere has more to look forward to at http://parippuplease.blogspot.com/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Stumble It!