Friday, October 31, 2008

Appu News Network: McCain eats Parippu

We Sri Lankans are not alone in this World. Even John McCain likes Parippu.

Comforting, 'eh?

Now we Lankans can also indulge a bit since Senator McCain, who aspires to lead the FREE WORLD, has shown that he also asks and eat Parippu in style.

Now if only Palin would twitter Appu...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Appu proposes a Baila Solution to National Problem

Over the last fifty years, we've tried everything to solve the national problem. We have pinned the nation's hopes on wars and ceasefires, elections and all party conferences, international mediation and divine intervention... and yet all around us our young people and old are continuing to suffer the consequences of this national divide.

Perhaps its time we took a different approach? As two of our finest entertainers demonstrate in this clip below, there might be a Baila Solution to the national problem. Let our leaders bugger each other with talk of Military and/or Political solutions but its time they stop buggering the rest of us.

Leave us, to us...

Good stuff 'eh? Appu would certainly ask for more...

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Appu's Kussiya - BBQ, Appu style

Politics, Cricket, Baila, Gal Bunnis (the dog) and Kusuma (the wife) aside, Appu's other fancy is Food.

So today, Appu is going to open his Kussiya to share a simple yet cardiovascularly challenging BBQ menu of:

- Baked Potatoes with Mushrooms and Bacon
- Corn
- Pork Ribs 'n Gin
- Pineapple Mendis Cheesecake

Now we all know that BBQ'd food isn't very popular in Paradise but there is no reason it shouldn't be. You don't need fancy four burner grills to have a good BBQ, as any Jamboree'd cub scout will tell you. Your friendly Yakada Baas at the junction can help you turn an old oil drum into a BBQ grill. To season, scrub and wash and rub well with used cooking oil till the metal gleams and all sign of rust is gone.

Once you have your grill seasoned and ready to go, simply fill it up with charcoal, light and let the flames subside before you start laying on the food. When you're getting your charcoal, remember to use burnt c'nut shells. You want to grill your food slowly using glowing embers, not set fire to it quickly over roaring flames.

Needless to say, a slice of Pineapple Mendis Cheesecake would go nicely at the end of the BBQ, and it'll certainly impress your guests, especially that Kusuma who has her eye on you. Of course, given that it is a baked (and chilled) cheesecake, you'd have to prepare it the previous day.

- Pineapple Mendis Cheesecake
1 medium sized pineapple, ring'd and quartered (with all the nasty bits taken out)
2 cups Mendis Special
1 lg packet of Maree biscuits
3 tbsp. butter
2 cup sugar
3 eggs
2 (8 oz.) pkgs. cream cheese, softened << if you can't get it at a Highland or Kotmale Outlet then you might have to buy the imported version :-(

Mix Mendis and half the sugar till the sugar is dissolved. Use the mixture to coat and soak the pineapple quarters. Set aside. Crumb the Maree and butter in food processor or pestle. Reserve 4 tablespoons. Press remaining crumbs into the bottom of an 8" or 9" pan (springform is ideal). Chill.

Whip cream cheese and mix remaining sugar, eggs and half a cup of the fluid from the arrack'd Pineapple. Pour the cheese filling into crust and gently press the Pineapple quarters into the mixture, reserving some of the mixture and fruit for later. Sprinkle over with the remaining crushed and buttered Maree and bake at 350 degrees (f) for one hour. Once baked, let it cool to room temperature, dress with remaining Pineapple quarters and Mendis syrup and chill before serving.

- Baked Herb Potatoes with Mushrooms and Bacon
Pick some small to medium sized Potatoes (ideally the size of a child's fist), scrub and wash 'em clean and pat dry with a kitchen towel. Roll the Potatoes in a mixture of olive oil and mixed (crushed and dried) herbs, stick some sliced mushrooms on the sides and wrap each Potato in a strip of bacon and generous amount of silver foil. Cradle the balls of silver foil in c'nut shells and let them sit on the charcoal.

- Corn
Wash the Corn but don't strip it. Gently lay the corn, as is, on the charcoal. No need for silver foil - the Corn's own organic foil will do nicely thank you. When the Corn is ready, the Potatoes should be ready. Take one out, test it and put it back if you think it needs to cook a little bit more. The Corn kernels should be plump and soft - thats when they are most yum. Spread some butter on the hot corn cobs and watch your guests salivate as the butter runs down the sides.

- Pork Ribs 'n Gin
Given the usual time constraints, some of this should ideally be done prior to your BBQ date. Get some nice meaty Pork Ribs, rub well with pepper, onions, minced garlic and a little bit of curry powder, pour in a bottle of decent beer (Three Coins will do nicely) and put it all in a zip lock bag and put it in the freezer. A week (or even months later - keeps well) you can take it out and boil it just a bit in shallow water till the meat starts to turn a bit light colour - drain the meat and set it aside.

To the stock, add pureed tomatoes, a couple of spoons of sugar, salt, soy sauce, more minced garlic and chopped onions. Simmer and stir till it becomes a thick slurry.

You are now ready to dress the ribs as they go on the grill. If the Ribs have been in the fridge or freezer, let them sit out for as long as it takes to thaw down to room temperature. When the meat is no longer cold, it is ready for the grill.

Cook on low heat - turning frequently - brushing the sauce on to the ribs with one hand whilst holding a cold gin n tonic in the other. Continue till you try to sip the sauce and brush the gin n tonic, that's when you know its time to eat.

All of this may seem like a lot of effort, but its actually a lot simpler and more fun than it seems. Give it a go and your guests will keep asking for more...

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Appu also thinks "Sri Lanka belongs to the Sinhalese"

Tiger acolytes aside,

Rauf Hakeem of the SLMC was the first to blast Sarath Fonseka for saying that the "Sri Lanka belongs to the Sinhalese"

Shortly afterwards, the CPA banged out a Press Release that raked Sarth Fonseka for saying that the "Sri Lanka belongs to the Sinhalese"

Now, we're told, the UNP has also joined in the assault on Sarath Fonseka for saying that the "Sri Lanka belongs to the Sinhalese"


Appu can't understand what the fuss is all about???


its 50 years since SWRD won on the Sinhala Only platform,

36 years since Ceylon became Sri Lanka,

35 years since standardization was introduced,

27 years since the government burned down the Jaffna library, and

25 years after JR's government orchestrated 'anti-tamil riots'and blamed it on the Sinhalese people!

So, so... how is this news?

Sri Lanka has been, and will be, a Sinhala Buddhist country for a very long time.

Stop picking on Sarath Fonseka.

Fonny's job description says that he must ensure that "Sri Lanka belongs to the Sinhalese" and the man is doing a fine job.

Ironically, Fonny is only saying what Velu has always said:
"Sri Lanka belongs to the Sinhalese" !!
Isn't that Velu's raison d’ĂȘtre?

Appu has seen and heard this so long, from so many sides, that even Appu is thinking that "Sri Lanka belongs to the Sinhalese"

Shaaa! Nothing like asking for more...

Appu not impressed by the Chief Justice or his Cheerleaders

It seems like a daily occurrence, as sure as the rise of the morning sun. The newspapers report, regularly, on one fundamental rights (FR) petition, after another, that is being entertained by the Supreme Court. Of course, the Supreme Court is the last port of call and we are most fortunate to have one.

Appu, however, is not impressed.

That we have a Supreme Court offering a ray of hope to the people, when all other structural supports are failing, is more an indication of the CJ's self-interest and acrimonious relationship with the President than it is an indication of the health of the judiciary.

The fact is that the Judiciary, under the current CJ, is rotten and tattered to the core. It seems like only yesterday when the same newspapers were ranting on about how the CJ and the Judiciary was iconic of Sri Lanka's descent into hell. The 180 degree turn in perception is remarkable, but not necessarily heart warming.

It seems that even the immortals amongst us, like CJ Sarath Silva, are prone to asking and eating parippu.

Who can forget how fast Sarath Silva let go of Chandrika's saree potta to grab Mahinda's shawl? Of course, it didn't take long for the two crooks to fallout, as crooks always do, and that has resulted in an unprecedented and most welcome respite to the country and its people. The country is safe as long as these two, Mahinda and Sarath, are busy battling each other with the full force of their respective offices.

God help us when one falls and the other turns his attention on the rest of us. That will be the time that our people realise that these were two behemoths of our own making, we cheered 'em on this vain path.

There are no glad tidings, just more servings of...

Friday, July 25, 2008

Appu's land like no other

Appu can't even begin to imagine how this happened, but then again, this is Appu's paradise isle and stranger things have happened in this land like no other...

Sinhalese with LTTE identity card arrested in Anuradhapura[TamilNet, Thursday, 24 July 2008, 03:10 GMT]

A Sinhala man, who attempted to enter the premises of Anuradhapura High Court on July 20 with an identity card allegedly issued by the LTTE, was taken into custody and is being detained for interrogation by the Terrorist Intelligence Division (TID) of the Sri Lanka Police. Police personnel manning the sentry point at the entrance to the High Court arrested the suspect, police sources said.

The identity card the police alleged had the insignia of the LTTE on it.

Police sources said the inquiry was being conducted to verify the purpose of the visit of the suspect to the High Court, and how he came to be in possession of LTTE identity card.

Verify the purpose of the visit????

Appu thinks its all getting curiouser and curiouser. Never a dull moment in Paradise with blokes like this who ask and eat...

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Appu Pity da Fool!

who asks for more...

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Appu is tired of the whinge about Black July and the 1983 riots

Groan! The Lankan Blogosphere is coming alive with talk about Black July and the ethnic riots. When, oh when, are we going to stop talking about 1983?

Appu thinks its time we stopped looking back, be it 2,500 years or 25 years.

The 1983 riots had nothing to do with the killing of 13 soldiers. The 1983 riots were meticulously planned and executed by Min. Cyril Matthew, with the blessing of his lord and master, J R Jayawardene. The riots provided tactical support for J R’s strategy to ensure the whole country was at his mercy. Unfortunately for J R, he over estimated his ability to control the exercise or mitigate the consequences. JR did his most as President and then retired to fade away in style. His legacy was whitewashed and the bastard was eventually given a state funeral, whilst the nation continues to suffer his actions.

Sri Lanka, not just the Tamils, has suffered worse in the last 25 years. Impunity is a fact of life and nobody significant is accountable for anything (thats a quotable quote from Appu).

Nothing short of forward thinking can help us leave all this misery in the past. Dredging up the past, no matter how meticulously, isn't going to get us anywhere or prevent us from repeating the mistakes of the past.

Unlike South Africa, where the Anglican Church under Tutu played an iconic role in the forming of a national identity, a Truth and Reconciliation Commission is a non-starter in Sri Lanka... a country where the word IMPUNITY is defined as a 'commission of inquiry.'

The 1983 riots have been rehashed in great detail and analysed and reported on for the last 25 years. And yet, look at where we are today? We are a nation that asks and eats parippu.

All we do is ask for more...

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Appu took Anarkali to the Veda Mahathaya

To all you adoring fans of the two As (Appu and Anarkali), the reason we've both been missing for a while is because Appu took Anarkali to the Veda Mahathaya.

Alas, the Veda Mahathaya's response was:

"Moda kamata beheth naaa...!"

Shaaa! With a performance like that, Anarkali was obviously asking for more...

Friday, July 18, 2008

Appu puts Mahinda Wijesekara in the spotlight

Now all you bloggers must be wondering what on earth is Appu on about now? So an honourable Sri Lankan leader took his family on vacation... What's that got to do with the price of Fish? or Parippu?

Stop thinking of yourselves and learn from Hon. Mahinda Wijesekara who saved his MP's salary of Rs 18,000 a month and took his family to Las Vegas!

Appu want to know when will other Sri Lankan men learn from people like him and do the same for their wives and children? Look at the envelope full of dollars that girl is holding for the Ammi to help herself? How could he have given such a treat to his family, if he didn't work hard and sacrifice?

Our Sri Lankan fellows spend way too much time and money on the Internet or drinking and dancing the merry devil with their useless friends. High time all Sri Lankan men became family men, like Hon. Mahinda Wijesekera!

Hon. Mahinda Wijesekera certainly knows how to ask for more...

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Appu learns his A, B, C

Appu has more pictures than memories of his days as a batta at Mrs Goonewardena's Montessori on Bullers Road. Ah those dreamy black and white days of blue drill shorts and brown Ford school (suit?) cases. Appu has long since learned his alphabet, and a bit more, but he would have certainly gone straight into therapy if he had been taught his A, B, Cs like this:

NEW Sri Lankan alphabet

A is for Abductions that take place daily, usually blamed on aliens.

B is for Benz Bikkus who live in the lap of luxury.

C is for Censorship of TV programmes showing scenes of alcohol and tobacco.

D is for Doctor Delipihiya, patron saint of murder and mayhem.

E is for Elections which are neither free nor fair.

F is for Freedom of abduction, harassment and imprisonment under the Prevention of Terrorism Act.

G is for Gullible majority who have been hoodwinked since 1948.

H is for Human rights abuses that occur 365 days of the year.

I is for Independence also known as the '60 Year Curse'. (We were better off under the British and that says a lot!)

J is for Jayasuriya, who will probably play until the 2043 World Cup or until he gets his EPF?

K is for Kassipu. (A bottle a day keeps the liver awake.)

L is for Lies, damned lies and statistics that the government media saturates us with each day.

M is for Mahinda chinthanaya. (Who needs the Bible, Koran and Tripitaka when we have the 'chinthanaya.'

N is for Nepotism or favoritism to relatives. (Also check R)

O is for the 17 Patriotic Opposition MPs who crossed over to the government to save the country.

P is for Pillayan, who became Chief Minister of the East using the 'Bullet' to get the 'Ballot.'

Q is for Question mark? When will the war end? When pigs fly or when hell freezes over?

R is for Rajapaksa poshanaya of Mahinda, Basil, Goatabaya and Chamal.

T is for Terrorism. Both the LTTE kind and the State sponsored kind.

U is for Underestimate. What the Government always does of the LTTE.

V is for Velupillai Prabahakaran who is very much alive and kicking.

W is for Wickramasinghe (Ranil), also fondly known as the Permanent Leader of the Opposition.

X is for Xenophobia or the island mentality. The dislike of all things foreign.

Y is for Yearning for yesterday. The national pastime of living in the past.

Z is for Zero casualties for the armed forces and 5,00,000 killed for the LTTE.

Haiyahhhh... Appu suspects that our glorious leaders might force us all to stick to the vernacular from this point onwards as the proverbial kaduwa is proving to be deadly! To continue to allow the spread of the Queen's english will only be asking for more...

Friday, June 20, 2008

Appu's Kussiya - Welcome Drink - Alavangua

Hi Boys and Girls,

Welcome to Appu's Kussiya (pronounced as kouss-eeyer)

Cooking is Appu's way of sharing his passion (ok, who wants to get passionate with Appu, 'eh?) b'coz food is what Appu uses to maintain his figure. Appu hopes to make this a regular feature if it attracts like minded people. Plus, writing about food will surely help Appu get around his writer's block problem.

Appu's Kussiya Covenant:

#1) Unlike that fellow Ramsey who has a mouth filthier than the Dehiwala Canal, Appu will not use bad words around food. How to taste if you have to wash your mouth out so often?

#2) Like Ramsey, Appu favours recipies that are easy to make, unpretentious and use local ingredients to the extent possible.

#3) Appu is always open to suggestions on how to make something taste better. So tell ah?

#4) Appu's food is never intended to prolong life on earth, but Appu always wants to have a good time whilst we are here. So don't ask if Appu use red rice flour. Ok?

#5) Wherever possible, Appu will try and put some context into how he came across that recipie. So there is a story, that Appu finds interesting, even if some yakkos out there don't!

That said...,

Appu will start by showing y'all to make an easy and culturally appropriate welcome drink or cocktail for your parties.

Now most of you know have heard of a cocktail called a Screwdriver.
2 Orange Juice, 1 Vodka and a pinch of salt, yes?

Well back in the seventies when Mrs B ensured that very little imported booze was available (unless you scored an invite to Rosmead Place), and Vodka was the strange name of Vittachi Uncle's nephew's dog, a screwdriver was just a pointed tool in the bottom drawer of the kitchen cupboard. Appu, for one, didn't know better.

Dieter's dog aside, Appu used to wonder why his Amma used to drink so much Mango Juice at those parties when he was a young kolla. One day young Appu secretly went into the pantry and took a sip off his Amma's glass and discovered a whole new World.

Yes, his Amma was pouring a bit of Distilleries Corporation's finest distilled coconut juice into her Mango Nectar and that was so much more dignified than walking around the party dressed in her Batik Kaftan with a glass of Arrack and Soda in her hand. The Mango Juice made her look and feel a domestic goddess whilst the Arrack and Soda would have made her look like a Perlyn Hotel waitress (appu thinking: aiyoo... mage amma) .

Ok, ok, enough. Appu won't go where his Thaathi feared to tread.
Back to the recipie for what Appu calls:


In a decent scotch glass,
  • a thin slice of lime in the bottom of the glass
  • a few ice cubes to hold it down
  • 2 fingers DCSL (yes, Harry's Old Juice is better than Tissanayagam's IDL Old)
  • 2 fingers Mango Nectar
  • top with lots of extra ice
  • No tiny umbrellas please (that would be pretentious - ref. Kussiya covenant #2)

Once you make it, its good to let it sit for a couple of minutes and watch the ice melt and dilute the nectar, and let the three flavours slowly mingle like guests at a posh party. Plus by not gulping it down, you don't look like a greedy goose or die of diabetes in a hurry.

When you're ready, and you will know when, serve and watch your guests sip this heavenly concoction in a civilised manner and say things like: "poor buggers can't even afford bread and pol sambol these days."

If y'all like this, then please come back to Appu's Kussiya. You know you can always ask for more...

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Appu fix a seat belt before he went to this site

Appu simply loves

The reader comments are like an extra serving of paeni on a laveria

Goodness, gracious, me!
How can Appu ask for more when they are serving it up like that?

Friday, June 6, 2008

Appu spots a Parippu stain on Hillary's blouse

The American primary season is just about over and Obama Hamu is heading for the Wallauwa.

The Clinton camp is now desperate to force Obama to take her also in his rickshaw but if Obama is true Hamu material, he'd drop her off at the bus stop and never look back. Look what happened to those poor people in the Bible - they turned to look back at 'Sodom and Gomorrah' and ended up at the Hambantota salterns, but thats another story...

Appu knows that Hillary didn't fail O/Level maths at St Bridgets. So she also knew there was no way she was going to catch up with Obama's delegate count and yet she pressed on, hoping to make a strong finish and that she did. She knew that after her naked aggression (aiyo!), there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that Obama would pick her voluntarily. So the only way to get on the ticket and use the four years in government as a springboard for her Presidency, was to keep hammering away at the electorate and end up with a sizable chunk of votes that she can hold hostage as Obama starts looking for a veep.

Apparently, Mark Penn (Hillary's Chief of Staff and glorified 'destruct button') had urged Hillary to "make Obama grovel" ... sigh! In the words of that famous Virginia Slims advertising line, "you've come a long way baby!"

Hillary's "aggression and defiance" has managed to hurt the Democrats to the extent that the Republicans have real hopes of winning, when loss was only recently a forgone conclusion.

Worse, her negativity has destroyed the Clinton legacy that survived violent assaults from Newt Gingrich, Ken Starr & co. Bill Clinton was an icon in John Kennedy's mould and the whole World looked up at him and asked for more Bill (like Monica did). Bill was even considered a potential candidate for the top job at the UN, until that other fellow drove up in his Hyundai.

Appu is sure that the only possible way to bring the shine back to the Clinton badge is for Bill to give Monica another serving. Afterall, she looked up at him and asked for more...

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Appu's Commission of Inquiry into loss of Cadju Topi

I, Gini Appuarachchige Sundarapillai Simon Saleem, better known as Gini Appu (as my initials aren't very flattering), hereby announce that I will take it upon myself to launch a Commission of Inquiry (COI) to investigate the alleged theft of cadju topi at the Kopi Kade.

As anybody who has ever drunk tap water will tell you, Cadju Topi, is second only to Parippu in the national diet and we cannot allow such an unfortunate incident to impact the nation's psyche.

However, given how Presidential Commissions of Inquiry have progressed, I have decided to handle the inquiry in a different manner. To begin with, there won't be a panel of interfering international observers, pesky commission members or plans to video conference witnesses. I have also asked Michael Moore, Desmond Tutu and Al Gore to mind their own business as we are quite capable of looking for Cadju Topi as we have been eating that (like we have eaten Parippu) for over 2,500 glorious years.

The whole matter will be handled by me and my dog ('Gal Bunnis'). Until such time as the report is produced by me, myself and I with the keen assistance and investigative might of GB (as I affectionately refer to Gal Bunnis), I urge all patriotic citizens, and anybody overseas that genuinely cares for Cadju Topi, to ask for more...

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Pudding for the Supremo

Tamilnet has a photo of Commander Soosai lecturing the Sea Tigers before they attacked the SLN post. That photo shows that the LTTE's leadership is more at risk of dying from cholestrol & diabetes than anything the SLA/SLN/SLAF can throw at them.

Perhaps Ranil's strategy of opening it up to let them develop bad habits and relax their discipline was more effective than we'd give it credit. Old Velu also looked positively unhealthy at the Brigadier Balaraj funeral. Thats of course, on the assumption that it was him. Some say a precision airstike took him out a few months back. Or was it the Tsunami a few years back?

Ahh.. too difficult lah!

Lets just ship Velu a hamper full of condensed milk, cheese and Siva Obeysekera's kalu dodol.
No doubt, Velu will accept it and eat it all, despite his Australian heart surgeon's advice.

And then he'd ask for more...

Self-inflicted wounds

Defence Ministry ( reports that:
3 LTTE boats destroyed, 15 killed in Army-Navy counter attacks- Jaffna

Army and Navy troops deployed at the Chiraththivu islet, Jaffna sprung an ambush killing at least 15 terrorists as troops claimed to have thwarted a pre-dawn LTTE infiltration attempt at the combined military detachment located between the Jaffna mainland and the Mandathivu island today (May 29).

TamilNet ( reports that:
Sea Tigers raid SLN camp close to Jaffna city
[Wed, 28 May 2008, 22:02 GMT]Liberation Tigers of Tamileelam (LTTE) Sea Tigers naval wing launched a raid in the early hours of Thursday on the Sri Lanka Navy camp located at Chi'ruththeevu islet, close to Ma'ndaitheevu island and Jaffna city, LTTE officials in Vanni told TamilNet. At least 13 Sri Lanka Navy personnel were killed and many sailors wounded in the raid carried out by a special marine wing of the Sea Tigers, the Tiger officials said adding that they have seized weapons including a 50-caliber machine gun, a mortar, two LMGs and military equipments including a radar from the strategic SLN camp situated at the islet facing Jaffna. 3 SLN bodies were also recovered by the Tigers and they identified one sailor. Full story

This episode, over the last 24 hours, has demonstrated that nobody has learned anything in the 25 years that this war has plagued us. Unfortunately, not even the "learned" amongst us, learn the most important lessons.

The Government's response, and that of bloggers like DW (, to the breaking news was as knee jerk as it has ever been. The fact is that the LTTE did what they claimed to have done, but I suspect they have learned that the SL Defence establishment and its cheering squad would deny, deny and counter-claim. So they held back the photos (its not like they had to wait for the film to be developed at Cargills) till the initial flurry of denials were rolled out and then they come out with the evidence that deflates morale and plays havoc with credibility.

Guess who is winning the propaganda war? The first casualty of war may be the truth... in Sri Lanka, the nation bleeds a second time, everytime!

And yet, we ask for more...

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Ahhhh.... Parippu!

Why Parippu? Why ask for it?

The fact is that all Sri Lankans, irrespective of their ethnicity, love their parippu. We are a nation of parippu eaters, literally and figuratively. Thats how we've been for the last two millennia and thats how we'll be for the next two.

Despite all our attempts to feign disgust, shock, horror or sadness at what has happened to the Sri Lanka we love(d), the fact is that we always knew what we were asking for... we always knew there would be consequences for the way we behaved, voted, talked, treated our neighbours, played our sport, partied, etc., etc. We know what we're getting when we ask for "more parippu please."

Like the Parippu we love and take for granted, we are destined to be a sloppy side dish for the rest of the World. True, we're full of good nutritious bits but we'd never be the 'main dish' darling!

... perhaps we can pause and reflect a bit before we look up and say "more parippu please" ?? We know we're always going to ask for it! Don't we?