Friday, June 20, 2008

Appu's Kussiya - Welcome Drink - Alavangua

Hi Boys and Girls,

Welcome to Appu's Kussiya (pronounced as kouss-eeyer)

Cooking is Appu's way of sharing his passion (ok, who wants to get passionate with Appu, 'eh?) b'coz food is what Appu uses to maintain his figure. Appu hopes to make this a regular feature if it attracts like minded people. Plus, writing about food will surely help Appu get around his writer's block problem.

Appu's Kussiya Covenant:

#1) Unlike that fellow Ramsey who has a mouth filthier than the Dehiwala Canal, Appu will not use bad words around food. How to taste if you have to wash your mouth out so often?

#2) Like Ramsey, Appu favours recipies that are easy to make, unpretentious and use local ingredients to the extent possible.

#3) Appu is always open to suggestions on how to make something taste better. So tell ah?

#4) Appu's food is never intended to prolong life on earth, but Appu always wants to have a good time whilst we are here. So don't ask if Appu use red rice flour. Ok?

#5) Wherever possible, Appu will try and put some context into how he came across that recipie. So there is a story, that Appu finds interesting, even if some yakkos out there don't!

That said...,

Appu will start by showing y'all to make an easy and culturally appropriate welcome drink or cocktail for your parties.

Now most of you know have heard of a cocktail called a Screwdriver.
2 Orange Juice, 1 Vodka and a pinch of salt, yes?

Well back in the seventies when Mrs B ensured that very little imported booze was available (unless you scored an invite to Rosmead Place), and Vodka was the strange name of Vittachi Uncle's nephew's dog, a screwdriver was just a pointed tool in the bottom drawer of the kitchen cupboard. Appu, for one, didn't know better.

Dieter's dog aside, Appu used to wonder why his Amma used to drink so much Mango Juice at those parties when he was a young kolla. One day young Appu secretly went into the pantry and took a sip off his Amma's glass and discovered a whole new World.

Yes, his Amma was pouring a bit of Distilleries Corporation's finest distilled coconut juice into her Mango Nectar and that was so much more dignified than walking around the party dressed in her Batik Kaftan with a glass of Arrack and Soda in her hand. The Mango Juice made her look and feel a domestic goddess whilst the Arrack and Soda would have made her look like a Perlyn Hotel waitress (appu thinking: aiyoo... mage amma) .

Ok, ok, enough. Appu won't go where his Thaathi feared to tread.
Back to the recipie for what Appu calls:


In a decent scotch glass,
  • a thin slice of lime in the bottom of the glass
  • a few ice cubes to hold it down
  • 2 fingers DCSL (yes, Harry's Old Juice is better than Tissanayagam's IDL Old)
  • 2 fingers Mango Nectar
  • top with lots of extra ice
  • No tiny umbrellas please (that would be pretentious - ref. Kussiya covenant #2)

Once you make it, its good to let it sit for a couple of minutes and watch the ice melt and dilute the nectar, and let the three flavours slowly mingle like guests at a posh party. Plus by not gulping it down, you don't look like a greedy goose or die of diabetes in a hurry.

When you're ready, and you will know when, serve and watch your guests sip this heavenly concoction in a civilised manner and say things like: "poor buggers can't even afford bread and pol sambol these days."

If y'all like this, then please come back to Appu's Kussiya. You know you can always ask for more...

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Appu fix a seat belt before he went to this site

Appu simply loves

The reader comments are like an extra serving of paeni on a laveria

Goodness, gracious, me!
How can Appu ask for more when they are serving it up like that?

Friday, June 6, 2008

Appu spots a Parippu stain on Hillary's blouse

The American primary season is just about over and Obama Hamu is heading for the Wallauwa.

The Clinton camp is now desperate to force Obama to take her also in his rickshaw but if Obama is true Hamu material, he'd drop her off at the bus stop and never look back. Look what happened to those poor people in the Bible - they turned to look back at 'Sodom and Gomorrah' and ended up at the Hambantota salterns, but thats another story...

Appu knows that Hillary didn't fail O/Level maths at St Bridgets. So she also knew there was no way she was going to catch up with Obama's delegate count and yet she pressed on, hoping to make a strong finish and that she did. She knew that after her naked aggression (aiyo!), there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that Obama would pick her voluntarily. So the only way to get on the ticket and use the four years in government as a springboard for her Presidency, was to keep hammering away at the electorate and end up with a sizable chunk of votes that she can hold hostage as Obama starts looking for a veep.

Apparently, Mark Penn (Hillary's Chief of Staff and glorified 'destruct button') had urged Hillary to "make Obama grovel" ... sigh! In the words of that famous Virginia Slims advertising line, "you've come a long way baby!"

Hillary's "aggression and defiance" has managed to hurt the Democrats to the extent that the Republicans have real hopes of winning, when loss was only recently a forgone conclusion.

Worse, her negativity has destroyed the Clinton legacy that survived violent assaults from Newt Gingrich, Ken Starr & co. Bill Clinton was an icon in John Kennedy's mould and the whole World looked up at him and asked for more Bill (like Monica did). Bill was even considered a potential candidate for the top job at the UN, until that other fellow drove up in his Hyundai.

Appu is sure that the only possible way to bring the shine back to the Clinton badge is for Bill to give Monica another serving. Afterall, she looked up at him and asked for more...

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Appu's Commission of Inquiry into loss of Cadju Topi

I, Gini Appuarachchige Sundarapillai Simon Saleem, better known as Gini Appu (as my initials aren't very flattering), hereby announce that I will take it upon myself to launch a Commission of Inquiry (COI) to investigate the alleged theft of cadju topi at the Kopi Kade.

As anybody who has ever drunk tap water will tell you, Cadju Topi, is second only to Parippu in the national diet and we cannot allow such an unfortunate incident to impact the nation's psyche.

However, given how Presidential Commissions of Inquiry have progressed, I have decided to handle the inquiry in a different manner. To begin with, there won't be a panel of interfering international observers, pesky commission members or plans to video conference witnesses. I have also asked Michael Moore, Desmond Tutu and Al Gore to mind their own business as we are quite capable of looking for Cadju Topi as we have been eating that (like we have eaten Parippu) for over 2,500 glorious years.

The whole matter will be handled by me and my dog ('Gal Bunnis'). Until such time as the report is produced by me, myself and I with the keen assistance and investigative might of GB (as I affectionately refer to Gal Bunnis), I urge all patriotic citizens, and anybody overseas that genuinely cares for Cadju Topi, to ask for more...